Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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