I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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