Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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