We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
