Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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