Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize
