do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
