Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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