Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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