Just mADE A PArabola og urine
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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