I need help removing her.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
