The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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