So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
