stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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