Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
