I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
