tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
