That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
