who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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