why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
