I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
