i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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