Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
