is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
