Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
