I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
