It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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