ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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