Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
