how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
