At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
