so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
