At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
