Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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