genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
