Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
