Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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