I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This house was built for laser tag.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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