You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
