just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
