No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
