how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
