Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
