Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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