no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
