you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
