woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
