Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
