If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
