So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
