so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Less talking, more tequila
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
