yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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