everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
