singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
