I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
